Everything Must Go! – Knicks Wave the White Flag Without Having to Wave a White Flag
I am starting to believe that being a member of the Knicks newsletter is a legal form of torture.
There is nothing like waking up to a 6am email from the New York Knicks notifying me that they are liquidating their entire warehouse of merchandise.
For those of you Liberal Arts majors, liquidation is the process by which a company (or part of a company) is brought to an end, and the assets and property of the company redistributed. In basketball terms, the Knicks are locking up shop for the summer, and trying to squeeze their fans out of some last minute dollars, before the whole thing goes up in flames.
Although I appreciate the act of sugar coating this act of desperation with all the RISEUPNYK bullshit, but speaking on the matter of business, the Knicks should have used more aggressive marketing materials to get fans through their e-doors. Don’t beat around the ominous bush. Put yourself out there!
Take this former Titan of Industry…
or this Mammoth of Media…
or this Arbiter of Anonymity…
Now that’s how you get people in the door.
Counting the the curiously dark shoulder on right side, I see 8 discount shoppers looking to get their wallets wet. They are practically begging to be a sold an open box blue light special item that they can hoard away in the most spider web infested nook of their one car garage.
The Knicks need to get more aggressive. And stop sending me depressing fucking emails.
-mjsiii
***PS – Can’t talk about waving flags without K’naan bumping in the background.
***PSS – I bought a personalized authentic home jersey. What can I say? I’m a sucker for a good deal.
About mjsiii
If the Knicks somehow rally back, fans will have framed copies of both of our “It’s over” posts ironically hanging in their bathrooms the way history buffs have a copy of the “Dewey Defeats Truman” issue of the Chicago Tribune.
That being said, I’m not losing sleep worrying about this.